how my iphone saved my iass

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carly has a new habit which is really putting a crimp in reilley’s red ball chasing as well as resulting in repercussions to my tuckus. carly has always played defense when reilley is chasing balls but she has significantly upped the ante recently in which she now nips at him and goes for his ankles. the other day reilley had had enough and turned around to wallop carly at the exact moment i was trying to curtail her and he ended up making contact with my butt. i didn’t really feel much so i thought nothing of it until a few minutes later when i went to grab my phone from my back pocket and my hand went right through the pocket. my phone had taken a direct hit sustaining quite a blow, which is much less costly than were my buttocks to have taken the hit...and that’s how my iphone saved my iass. here’s a photo of my rear for your enjoyment – keep in mind that objects appear much larger on the internet than they may actually be.




i'm pretty sure by this time you can all join in on the "carly, carly, carly." 


by the way, if i counted correctly i came up with 4 unique ways of referring to my posterior (that makes 5).  

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