last friday we helped wilson pass out of this life. it was time and we were at peace with the decision knowing that it was the best thing for him. somehow i convinced myself that all those things would make it easier. somehow i convinced myself that it wasn’t tragic so i would miss him but i would be okay – i would survive. somehow i convinced myself that i’m like a professional at dog loss at this point and i would be okay. even though i’m a person who gets sad when i reach a book’s end because i’ll “miss” the characters i convinced myself i would be okay. i fell for it lock, stock and barrel…i, folks, am a dumbass.
we had a dear friend in from out of town this weekend so that was a great distraction and then the beginning of the week we had a rare snow/ice storm and that was another great distraction. and then wednesday hit and the distractions ran out and so did my ability to lull myself into believing i was okay. the devastation and loss hit and it hit hard.
wilson (aka the wiz, whopper, puddle, lil man) was an enormous presence in a very little body. he wasn’t like most of the other rescues that have come through our lives – he knew he was awesome and he knew that we loved him…i don’t think he thought there was an alternative. he was 12 lbs of spirit and love with just a little pinch of hate.
there’s so much to say about him: how even though his immune-mediated disease took his sight it never changed him, how tough he was, how entertaining he was, how if i had a lap he was in it yet he bit me constantly, and how much of a true terrier he was. to me the item of most importance though is how woven into the fabric of our life he was. i don’t remember him not being here – i don’t remember a time without him. that can be attributed to his diminutive size and loss of sight and needing to be constantly aware of where he was but i think it’s more an indication of the vastness of his spirit...the lil man was a fighter, a character and a total dream of a dog, warts and all.
he was one of 17 dogs, he weighed less than half of the dog closest to him in size and he was blind but he didn’t take crap from anyone and he dished a whole lot of his own out…that was my dear wiz and he will never be forgotten.