you know the worst part of having 16 dogs…

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besides the fact that we deal with loss too often and it's a lot of responsibility? toilet paper issues...we can't have toilet paper on a nice dispenser like normal people. we are constantly asking ourselves "why do dogs eat toilet paper?" there was a time that everything was golden; we could sit down and just luxuriously roll toilet paper into our hand and ball it up just right like everyone else but that feeling is now reserved for when we travel. when arranging a vacation i don’t need to talk about beaches or restaurants…i want to hear about the toilet paper dispensers.

it all started with carly but she was really just the beginning of the dogs and toilet paper ridiculousness. carly, our little lady, just manhandles any size roll and somehow yanks the cardboard center out. all she wants is the cardboard, she’s not even interested in the actual paper and that generally gets left on our couch in little white, wet chunks. on the rare occasion the paper survived the attack i’d try to make the best of it and hang it back up but lemme tell you that cardboard center is an integral part of the roll composition; without it and it’s like a body walking around with no bones.

we just dealt with the roll loss with carly but then along came zig who just nibbles, nibbles, nibbles his way through so you're left rolling a little stripe around and around, desperately trying to make it work. for some reason i refuse to chalk the roll up as a loss and throw it away so i just keep working with the little torn strip until i’ve worked it back to a normal roll, although it may be a bunch of trips to the bathroom before that particular nirvana is reached. finally, there's just the jerks who grab an end and run.


at this point the toilet paper has been relegated to a bathroom drawer and we have to hold the paper and wrap it around our hand, which is less than ideal. sometimes i long for the days when the only controversy dave & i had was the correct way to hang the paper (which is obviously under)…


so to wrap up, in my experience there are 3 types of toilet paper offenders:

a) the manhandler

b) the nibbler

c) the grab n’ goer

at this point we’ve got one a, one b and too many c’s…please tell me we’re not alone here!

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